Sunday, March 25, 2007

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So, in an important development for our nation, the District of Columbia is looking for a new slogan. Now, D.C. has been the epicenter of a number of important campaign slogans in the past. For example, who can forget the memorable "Grandfather's Hat Fits Ben," the campaign slogan of one of our least memorable presidents: Benjamin Harrison (grandson of William Henry Harrison). By the way, Giada is still mad about Harrison signing the Sherman Silver Purchase Act, so Harrison is kind of tough topic in this household. But, the best slogan of all time is unequivocally the inventive, "We Polked You in '44, We Shall Pierce You in '52," from our 14th President. Seems a little risque until you consider that Pierce was a notorious alcoholic who drank himself to death.

But, apparently, D.C. government feels it needs something better than "Washington, DC: An American Experience." So, being civic-minded folks, Giada and I thought we would offer our help.

Giada thinks the slogan should be "A Capital City." Simple, cute, and elegant.

I, however, think the slogan should be: "A Monumental Town." Because there are monuments in the District. It's a play on words.

Another suggestion, this one a little more honest: "D.C.: A Quarter Gentrifying, Three-Quarters Languishing."

For the competitive types, how about: "D.C.: Fewer Murders Than Baltimore."

Taken from one of our most eloquent former mayors, Marion Barry: "Outside Of the Killings, We Have One of the Lowest Crime Rates in the Country."

A nod to the politicos: "DC: Come Have Your Filibuster of Fun."

Anyway, those are our suggestions. Although I'm sure the D.C. government in its infinite competency will come up with something better.

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